I started playing Gaia again. I like to fish. Before there was nothing to do there and now they add this thing and enticed me back. Heh. What a waste of time.

Woo! I passed pysc after all! AND with a 85 I might add. I'm so delighted. But I'm crazy. Almost 1 and I'm still up on the computer. Crazy.

I went shopping again today with K. I bought a Roots hoodie and a potato plushie! I love it! It's so soft and cute and makes me smile lots. Tomorrow I'm going to Micheals I think. I hope. I want to buy scrapbooking stuff. Heh. I still need to finish Tina's present. Taking too long. Anyways goodnight.

Ha! I'm back from a day of boxing day shopping. Didn't get much really. But that's not important. It's the excitement of getting up at 5 in the morning and pushing past crowds and crowds of crazy stampeding people. We were late this year. We went at 6 instead of 5 so we didn't have to line up at Futureshop. I got Hellboy and Karen got some other boring DVD with Sandra Bullock in it. We also went to Metro and I got some clothes and socks there. I wanted some candy canes but they weren't really on sale so bah. So tired. I wanted to go to Michaels and look around maybe buy some 50 cent scissors but no stupid people had to have accidents on all the bridges so we ended up not going to Richmond. I'll go tomorrow maybe. Another day of shopping tomorrow. Yay!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas! We're having ham today. :)

Yay! I passed chemistry! with a high mark of 69! heehee!

So far so good. I got 87 in anthro. I hope I didn't fail psyc. It'll be sad if I fail a multiple choice course. Very sad indeed. I don't know what to do now. I don't know if I should go to the mall or stay home. Decisions, decisions.

I love doing that too. Mmm warm laundry. 

I should be studying psyc. More that half the day come and gone. And still haven't cracked open the text. Look at it. Sitting there. Mocking me....

Anyways Karen's taking her math exam right now. I hope she's doing well. She studied so hard for it, I really hope she passes.

Yay! The worst is over. I wrote my chem final today. I wasn't as bad as I thought. At least I finished it all...I hope this is not a false sense of security only to end up failing....O_O...I hope not.

So it begins....

What should I do??? I kind of want to go into CompSci but I don't know if it is reeeaally what I want. Sure I took CompSci100 and I like the simple programming with Visual Basic but I don't really know if I will like the other courses. I know I don't like math but if I go into it then I'll have to take a bunch of math. Ugh. What to do...what to do...

YAY! T'pol's stupid husband released her from their marriage!!!! Now she can finally get with Trip! Yes, I watch Star Trek. Heehee I got my sister watching it too cause she loves romances. I do too. Hee! Ugh. Must study.

Studying is hard. I have a hard time concentrating. Huh. Maybe due to the fact that I stayed up til 3 reading. Bleh. I'll be so glad when finals are over.

Ivana got fired on the Apprentice. Too bad. But I didn't agree with her taking her skirt off. That was too much. Don't people ever learn?! You're on national television for crying out loud! Don't do such stupid things!

I probably won't be able to put this in my essay. It's too long. I'll put it here just in case.

An Akoucaurian myth tells of how Dran was created jointly by Kaiou and Grev. Kaiou laid eggs that became Dran, the sun, which shone brightly in Dran’s sky while Grev created the moons that needed Kaiou’s sun to shine. Kaiou fashioned the Akoucau by burning some of her breast feathers and fashioning the first Akoucau out of the ashes while Grev did the same but only managed to create misshapen creatures called Pecau. When Kaiou saw that the Akoucau had no food, she created the chi-mik bird from drops of her blood for the Akoucau to eat while Grev created plants that bore no nuts or fruit. When Grev saw that all of Kaiou’s creations were better than his, he was furious. He created storms, volcanoes, earthquakes and all that was bad in the world and told the Pecau to destroy the chi-mik bird’s eggs so that the Akoucau may starve to death. When Kaiou saw what her brother did, she created the Lolau and Pogoi plants by planting some of her tail feathers in the ground and told the Akoucau how to grow and harvest their nuts. She also told them to save the chi-mik bird eggs by taking them high up into the Huino tree, which she created, so that they may be safe. Grev became so angry and spiteful that he assumed the form of the Pecau and began to wreck havoc and chaos on the Akoucau. Kaiou protected the Akoucau by exiling Grev into the heavens. Grev gained his revenge by swallowing the sun. When Kaiou created another Grev fought her and is still fighting in the heavens today. The Akoucau believe when the night comes it is because Grev has swallowed the sun and but the sun rises again because Kaiou lays another. As it was then, so shall it be now.

I should be doing my Anthro essay. This sucks. My culture doesn't make sense. I didn't realize that creating a culture that makes sense would be so hard. And it's due tomorrow too. Sigh. Ow. I think I strained my neck reaching for toilet paper. 0.0;

Anyways I went out for lunch today with my Bible study group. It was this place on Broadway where we get to choose what to eat and they cook it for us. It was pretty good. I had fun.

Oy. Better get back to the essay.

Every day is some day. 

My mom's sad/angry, my grandpa's sad, my dad's angry, everybody else is angry. I have such a screwed up family. Such problems. Stupid. I feel very angry at my dad. I don't know why he doesn't let my grandpa live with us.

Tension's high right now.

I feel like a bobblehead on the bus.

But now is not the time for this. Everyone's angry. So scary. So much yelling. I should go hide in my room if I what's best for me. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

Here I am wasting time again. Ah pooey. I guess I should be studying chem. I'll be complaining AGAIN by the time it's finals. Sigh. It never ends.

So I had this dream last night or rather this morning or rather this afternoon because I woke up at 1:30. Teehee. Anyways. It must be the Star Trek episode I watched combined with Andromeda. Trance was there and she was helping one of those "normal" augments. I don't exactly know what happened. Heheh. But then there was this turtle and I was making a home for it out of alfalfa spouts and other vegetables. Then I discovered that I can "cheat" on Neopets. In front of my house there were these items that were on the sidewalk. Well not on the sidewalk they were each in a little pit that fit them perfectly. There were neggs and books and other things and I discovered that I could take them out and each time I jumped the items would refresh and refill the pits. My sister and I got a lot of neggs and stuff and there were blueberries too! Haahaa! And talking flowers. Yeah so we had all these items and we took them in the house and took more items and they were piling in the house. Then I was like how are we going to get them in the computer??? Scan them? Haha. What a stupid dream.

I printed out some of my artwork at superstore yesterday and I like the result. The colours were really rich and beautiful. Huh. My dad said oh why can't you print it out at home? I scoff. What with our printers?! I don't think so!

Wooooo! I passed my chem midterm! I'm so happy.

Tomorrow is Halloween. I'm going trick-or-treating with my little cousin. I feel so embaressed. I'm so old and still going. I mean I'll be twenty next year. sheesh. But I still look young enough to be 14 or so. Heeheehee.

I should have studied more on pysc. It was a pretty easy test if I knew what I was doing. If I only knew. I should be studying chem right now. The midterm's on thursday. Cramming this entire week. But at least I finished this contest pic for thefelinecanine at deviantart. I really like it but I think I went overboard on the background. I wanted to draw vines like the ones at school on the math building but I just couldn't capture it exactly so I just omited it.

EVER. I just screwed up big time AGAIN. Ether and water don't mix! How could I have been so stupid! So I had to rotorvap the ether out and so I had a lot of water in that so I had to use a lot of ethanol. But then my compound turned into oil. So I didn't finish the lab obviously. But seriously I should not work in a lab. A nice desk job would be perfect.

I had a dream. It was nice and sort of warm feely movie-type dream. But it wasn't in the beginning. I don't really know what happened in the beginning. I forgot. Where I start to remember is when this girl - played by Keira Knightley - lived with a bunch of her family and relatives that were very...uh...traditional or as I like to say very Chinese-like. Like nosy and traditional and strict and traditional and ruled the girl with an iron-fist or tongue and lots of rules. LOTS of rules. They even gave her a piece of paper that stated all the rules and what they were going to say if she broke them. 0.0' Well, the girl was simple and happy even with her overstrict life and eventually found a boy. (Aww. How sweet.) Anyways they were just about to share their first kiss when her entire family burst in through the door and were aghast at what she was doing with the boy and started yelling at her and so on and so forth. So they send her away to fix her up. I don't know what happened but then she was at the countryside at a homely farm where she worked happily away from her overbearing family. There was another girl there too, a maid apparently and she worked at the farm too but I didn't see her. So my dream ended with the maid calling to the girl and she responded and left the loft and the camera moved up outside and there where there was a family of ducks. The parents just had their ducklings. The ducks were all brownish but one special little duckling had a little red in his down and he was called Red duck by the girl. Fade out.

Woohoo! I managed to get through the anthro midterm. It wasn't as hard as I expected but I'm positive that I got a few wrong. There's one that I know is wrong. But eh. Can't dwell on the past. As long as I get an A I'll be happy.

Today was career's day at UBC. I got some free stuff. IBM was giving out these cute little plastic containers filled with office supplies. Hee. Me like. I got Kraft dinner too. Maybe I'll try it tomorrow. But yuck. I don't like macaroni and cheese. Maybe I'll just eat the macaroni.

Speaking of tomorrow. I'm going to the first meeting of the stamp club. I'm curious to what sort of people go to these things. I went to a Christian bible study on Wednesday and I was the only asian in the group. And there were only five people in my group including me and they are all Caucasian. I felt like I didn't fit in. And I didn't talk much either. They probably thought I was mute or stupid. I kept giving looks though when the guys did or said something weird. And I guess one of the girls understood my looks cuz she laughed. I'm always like this when I don't know people. I don't talk. Then people think I'm isolating them when I'm not. I just have trouble thinking of what to say. I can come up with stuff later on but on the spot no. I am so lacking in social skills. It's a wonder that I have any friends at all. And what's more they all go to church and I felt so embaressed because I haven't gone in a long time. Maybe I'll go with Annie to her church. She's Protestant though. And I'm SUPPOSE to be Catholic. I sort of want to be baptized. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. But I want to build a stronger relationship with God first. Or do I do it the other way. Baptize first and then relationship? I don't know. I'm so confused. Maybe I'll ask my group.

Shit. I screwed up on my chem lab. The funnel was leaking and I didn't know until a couple minutes later. I managed to transfer the bulk of the solution into another funnel but I don't know... Anyways I better start studying anthro. Midterm tomorrow.

I saw Farenheit 9/11 yesterday. It's a pretty good movie. And it's convincing. I didn't like Bush before and now I don't like him even more. I hope that Kerry guy wins. Ha I bet the whole world wants Kerry to win except maybe for the Americans themselves. I don't know maybe a country founded on war needs a "war man," as Bush described himself, to lead the country. I feel sorry for the Iraq people. The familiy members of the innocent people who were killed by American soldiers will hold grudges against them forever. And eventually that will lead them to attack the US and of course the US will retaliate. It's a never ending cycle of hate. So many people died for nothing. Sigh. But I shouldn't really say. I haven't been actually following American politics.

I just came back from finishing a chem lab and omg! I was so slow! I finished everything but still it was very tight. I was so slow that my TA left before me! AND he was a substitute too. Name's Steven or something. Might be that one that my friend is crazy about. lol. The whole lab was almost deserted. I was the third last to leave. I have to work faster. Heh and I shouldn't become a lab person.

Ah another weekend wasted doing nothing. I SHOULD have been reading chem. But nooo. I had to go on the computer all the time and watch TV. I just finished watching Independence Day. Great movie. When I first watched it I was so scared. And now that I watch it again it's like nothing.

Ugh! Everyone's asking me to do stuff for them. I'm doing everything for everyone! I'm so angry. What about MY things?! I have to do my stuff too! If I help someone that means I get less time to do my things and then I get frustrated and upset then I don't feel like doing my own work anymore and that means I don't ever do it and then when it's time for the exam I have to cram! I then I get even more upset and binge. Stupid. I hate my life.

I don't want to read. I'm trying to help my sister in math but I'm having trouble. I don't even know how to do the stuff anymore. School sucks. Maybe I'll just graduate with average grades and get any job somewhere.

Ugh. Is there food anywhere? I'm going to start binging again. Can't stop. Must eat.

Another Friday. Lovely. The anthro quiz was relatively easy. If I had studied better for chapter three I'd probably get it all right. I forgot to put down that homo habilis scavenged for meat. Whatever.

I went to an icebreaker at 5 today. It's actually my sister's club but she also joined another that had the icebreaker at the same time, in the same building AND they were beside each other. So I posed as her. I managed to get two plushies. Sweet. We had to leave early though because we had to go out to dinner with a family friend. It was embarressing because we were like an hour late. And it was a busy restaurant too. But oh well.

I'm so behind in chemistry. I'm apparently suppose to be up to chapter 6. I've only read chapter 1. o_0; Lots of catching up to do this weekend.

I made $15 doing a survey for 1 and a half hour at the Anthsoc building. Pretty sweet. Easy money. If only I knew about them last year. I'd be rich! Heheh. Not really.

I joined some clubs today at UBC. I joined MISA, SOS and a stamp and coin club. I didn't plan on joining the stamp club. I got sucked in by the person running the booth. I saw him dancing in the rain the other day and of course automatically assumed he was crazy (even though he said he wasn't). So today I saw him at his booth and I said that I saw him dancing in the rain and he laughed. So I asked him about his club. And he was so enthusiastic I couldn't disappoint him by not joining and it was only $2. So I did. I collect stamps anyways. Not seriously though. I like the new ones. And only the pretty ones. Animals are always good on stamps.

So after all of this my sister and I went to get Campbell Soup. They were giving them out on the field. So not to lose out on this opportunity, I went several times during the day. So in total we have 6 cans. These guys got a whole 24 case! We probably could have gotten more if we hadn't gone looking for Tower Beach. Took us so long to get there and by the time we got back the Campbell people were gone. Eh. Maybe they'll come back tomorrow. :)

I finally got around to setting up a online journal. What a bore. It's midnight and I'm not in bed. I should be but I'm not. My mom's gonna come down any minute now and yell "WHY AREN'T YOU ASLEEP YET?!!" Not that I really care. It just makes me want to stay up later. I don't have school tomorrow so I'm gonna do what I please. But still, I have a Anthro quiz on friday so I have to study tomorrow. And I have to be awake in order to do that. Whatever. That a blah entry.

Woah. Finished microeconomics. Annie and I went to celebrated by going to the mall. Heh. We always do that. I think it's the third time we went to the mall after finals. It's like a tradition. Even thought there's nothing at the mall. Turns out Dave Chalk was there giving seminars or something. We got free pens and chocolates shaped like computers and also entered two contests. Wonder what else will there be.

Started working on the website again. Winnie lent me her dreamweaver book. It should clear a lot of things up.
I want to go to Victoria.

I'm crazy. I bought so many of those freakin neopet McDonald toys. 2 bucks each. I'm going bankrupt. But I must have them allllll.

On a sadder note. Happy died. Sunny's brother. He wasn't even 4 years old yet. Kidney problems or something. He couldn't pee. They euthunized him this morning. It's so sad.

Ugh. We lost. And what's worse is the Calgary managed to win the second round. Pah. At least Morrison is in Team Canada. WHICH WON THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP! Wee! Go Canada! If I ever have kids they'll either play hockey or soccer. Or both.

School ended. And it's starting again on Tuesday. Sucks. Sucks lemons.

HOCKEY FEVER! WE SCORED! WE SCORED! What a game tonight! Three overtimes. Those poor players. They must have been exhausted. But Canucks won 5-4 against Calgary! Woo! GO CANUCKS!

Heeheehee. I volunteered for 50/50 again. Winnie and I got demoted! We were at the Seimen's Club before but today we were put up on the balcony floor...where the cheap people are. Sigh. I have never done so much yelling in my life. My throat is sore. But I did have fun. Didn't make as much money though. But I got to watch the third period! Eee! It was so exciting! The guard that was standing there was so nice. He let us watch standing in the doorway. We inched closer and closer and still he didn't say anything. He knew we were volunteers though. Arg! Volunteer's get 50% off on food! But we have to have our uniforms still on and I didn't have enough money to buy anything. Sigh. But anyways! It was such an incredible game! Canucks won 6-1 against Colorodo Avalanche! And we got to sit at the very end of the game. These people left early and gave us their seats. And we saw Canucks score so many times! Eeee! Watching them on TV is nothing compared to watching them live! I want to volunteer again so I can watch the game again! Heehee! So happy.

50/50 tickets! $20,000 jackpot tonight! Woah what a rush! I was volunteering for 50/50 tonight at GM place selling raffle tickets for the Canucks for Kids Fund. 1 ticket for $2, 3 for $5, or 7 for $10. At first I was stuttering and shy but I eventually got into the mood and was just out there. Before the game I sold about $345 worth of tickets and during the 1st intermission I brought in $245. Wee! That's more than $600! I sold the most out of the friends I went with. Maybe I'm a natural! Heehee.

I should be doing my english essay right now. Not that it matters, it's crap anyways. Why do I always leave things to the last minute?! It's almost 12 and I haven't finished yet. Spent the whole night thinking...and surfing in between. Shit. It's 30% of my mark! And undoubtedly I'll get a C-. I'm hoping for at least a C+. Bah. I'm never going into med school. Not like this. Sigh. Better get back to the essay... One more page.

Poo. Behind in my studies as always. I managed to start volunteering at the SPCA. Such adorable dogs there. There were 7 puppies there on Sunday. So cute! They are rottweiler and husky cross I think. I wish I can take one home with me. But that'll never happen.

I had a dream that Ma was sort of a cannibal and had eaten our two younger brothers. Mei and I were afraid so we hid in the washroom. I said not to talk about cannibalism so loudly cuz that's the reason why she ate them. So we stayed in the washroom and made muffins. I screwed mine up. Sad. I can't cook even in my dreams.

A lot has happened since I last since updated. I'll try to go in chronological order.

First I went to an Aquarium Sleepover with Karen on the 13th. I was kind of disappointed. It didn't have as much omph as what I've heard about last year. We basically had a slide show...which was interesting...but boring after a while. I started figiting near the end. Then a game, which was basically the highlight of the entire evening. We were blindfolded with one hand tied to our back and we had to work together to create a bowl out of cardboard that can hold water with Derek guiding us with his eyes. Of course it was an entire failure. Then we had to make plankton that was not as fun as box making. We ended the evening in the beluga viewing area where we spent the rest of the night. They showed Pirates but by then it was already 2 a.m. and I still had to study for the Bio midterm on Monday so I went to bed/sleepingbag after I watched my fav part: the entrance of Jack Sparrow. Eeee! Sigh. Early in the morning we woke up to the sight of the male beluga's huge penis, oops i mean paenis, hanging out in plain view. Apparently he was trying to get some with one of the girls but she wasn't having any of it. Heehee. Spent the rest of the morning just talking. Yawn. Boring. At least I got this Brother Bear growth chart...as a joke about my height. Heheh.

Skip the midterm week. Nothing to say but that I did poorly on all of them except for Physics. Yay physics is phun.

But during the wed of midterm week my grandpa was taken to the hospital. He was very weak and almost lost the will to live and he had to go through dialysis right away. Turns out he wasn't getting enough protein and his kidneys were failing. So I spent my springbreak with him at St. Paul's Hospital. I was really worried. I thought he was going to die. He has recovered now. Thank God! But he's not living at Knight anymore. He's living at my aunt's place. I wish that my dad could be more understanding and let him live here. Ma talked to him but they went into an argument and he said that when he's old he doesn't need our help and taking care of. Yeah right. Sometimes I resent him so much. I wonder what happened to his own grandparents.

I AM: a potato
I WANT: a potato
I HAVE: hair
I WISH: to be done my hw
I HATE: hw
I FEAR: moths
I HEAR: voices
I SEARCH: for candy
I WONDER: when will life end
I REGRET: nothing
I LOVE: animals
I ACHE: with stupidity
I ALWAYS: sleep
I AM NOT: dead
I DANCE: on wednesdays
I SING: like a hyena
I CRY: with tears
I AM NOT ALWAYS: myself
I WRITE: nonsense
I WIN: by default
I LOSE: on purpose
I CONFUSE: everyone but especially myself
I NEED: what I lack
I SHOULD:do my homework

My parents came home on Saturday. It's Ooookay. We didn't burn the house down. I just burnt some rice in the microwave...thank goodness they can't smell it anymore. hehheh... Weee-ell, my mom bought home lots of junk food...and she managed to smuggle in some shweet tiny mandarin oranges...dispite the fact the dog at the airport was on to her. heheh. She managed to convince the security guard that it was the squid that the dog smelled...this proves something about airport security doesn't it? They are so into catching terrorists that they don't really care about smuggling of fruit anymore...hehehe...start the marijiana smuggling operation! hehhehe...I hope I don't get arrested for saying that. sorry. I'll shut up with the marijiana stuff now...Damn City of Glass by Doug Coupland that you must read...that is where it all started the marijianna grow-ops and stuff.
My mum also bought a mp3 player home! It's ok I guess but it has this particular buzzing noise in the background that is present even when I turn the volume off. Huh. funny. Piece of junk. Karen is supposedly using it now. I'm content with my CD player though Karen wants one too since she is the one with all the CDs 0_0'.

School sucks as always. For my bio 140 project I got to do Armadillidium vulgare aka pillbugs. yay. that was a sarcastic yay if you didn't already know. I get to do pillbugs again. They don't have many books on pillbugs. Damn it. I wanted the snail or cricket not some bug that I've done in grade 10! pf. Anyhoo, I can't do anything about it. Gotta stick to my project topic whether I like it or not.

Brrr it's freakin cold. The house it an icebox! I heard it's gonna snow some more tomorrow. Blast it!

Today was the first day back to school. I'm taking physics now instead of anthropology. I hope I have a good teacher like Iqbal. It's five courses on MWF. What a load! Just my English books cost $97 and that's excluding two. English is such a costly language. I started reading The Glass City and I have to say it's pretty interesting. It's all about the author's take on Vancouver and he writes in short blurbs so I don't get really bored. Heh. Maybe I'll read some more before I go to bed.

It was also my grandpa's birthday today. He's either 86 or 87; my relatives couldn't agree on that point. We went to his place to eat. Nothing much. But as I said it was FREAKIN COLD. My toes froze. I can't feel them anymore. I think I need to amputate them or something. Sunny's water froze too and he jumped up the sink to drink water cuz he couldn't drink any of his. Darn cold weather. It's either unbearably hot or icy cold. But then it's always cold in my house. No matter what the weather.

Hello hello! I'm not dead...yet...not that anyone cares...anyhoo...Happy New Year! Blah blah blah. School is starting on Monday. Aaaand I haven't bought my books yet. Sheesh, talk about procrastinating! My new year's resolutions?

1. Do my homework ahead of time; that includes keeping up to date in all my courses.
2. Visit grandpa more often.
3. Bathe Sunny more often. (very much needed, he stinks!)
4. Exercise very day to lead a healthy active lifesyle. (Always on my list)
5. Quit Neopets and any other online games (currently it's Runescape, wanna play with me?)
6. Volunteer at a hospital.
7. Get at job.
8. Read more.
9. Improve on my artwork.
10. Don't play so long on the computer. (Oops! Already broke that one)

Oh I forgot:11. Sleep earlier.

My parents went to Hong Kong and lately I've been sleeping at 3 a.m.! Crazy! I can barely keep awake during the day!